Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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