its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
