Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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