yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
