Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
