I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
