I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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