just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
