nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
