Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
