O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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