Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize