I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Actions speak louder than pants.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
