I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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