everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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