Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
