When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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