Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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