oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
