guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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