party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
