my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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