how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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