I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
