i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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