this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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