i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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