i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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