Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
