Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
