he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I deserve this hangover.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
