Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
