I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
