I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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