Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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