I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
