i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
