I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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