I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
