I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
