Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
