also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
