you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
