i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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