Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
