They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
