Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
