with your own penis?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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