i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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