Duck Duck Cougar?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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