Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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