Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
whose ass print is on the piano?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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