just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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