I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
