She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
